Sometimes don’t you wonder what mysterious forces shape our lives? In an ironic twist of fate I returned to Chee Dale Cornice for the first time in ages on Saturday, the very day after the infamous Fenchurch East CID gang finally imploded. Perhaps nostalgia, – just like Gene Hunt – will 'live' forever. Mind you, the Quattro is past its best now…

OK – so what the heck am I babbling on about? Well, my friends – a rare treat awaits you if you go down into the depths of Chee Dale – a dry(ish) Cornice. What in the late Eighties and early Nineties was an annual event, is now as rare as a self respecting veggie passing beneath the golden arches (no letter please…). A dry Cornice is the phenomena that I’m referring too. Let’s get this blog bang on the button – it ain’t proper dry yet, but it’s well on the way. Providing that the heavens don’t open in the next couple of weeks (famous last words…) we should soon see the Cornice dry – till the autumn anyway.

So what’s actually dry now then? Well get your Rockfax guide out, flick to page 132/133 and starting at Martial Music you’ll be good on most routes to the right. Head left mind up, and you’d best take your rubber ring ‘cos it’s still wet. I reckon that there’s about a dozen 3-star sport routes out of a total of thirty routes (there’s a couple of new routes not in the guide by the way if you are checking my maths…) to get thrashed on with grades of 7a to 8c.

Pick of the crop at the moment – ie those currently well-chalked - are Clarion Call (F7a), Bored of the Lies (F7b+), Powerplant (F8a), R’n’P (F8a+), Love amongst the Butterflies (F8b), Unleashing the Wild Physique (F8a) and Cosmopolitan (F7b). A good afternoon’s climbing you have to say, even for Mr Ondra.

What’s that you say, “What’s the climbing like?” Unique, my friend, that’s what; unique. See you down there…

More on Audi’s famous Quattro here… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audi_Quattro

The scene on last Saturday – spot anybody famous?